the law of acceptance........

On friday i finally accepted that he is going away in 8 months. I don't want to be always so depressed and gloomy around him. I try to be happy and act as if nothing happened. Philosophy club really helped me. It took me two days to recover... but this is the shortest ever actually.. if i was my old self i would of took like 2 weeks to recover. My friends told me i should tell him how i feel. Its now or never. I want to cherish all the time i have left with him. Our time is limited and I guess he noticed that too. I don't care how much time we have left as long as hes still here with me. I noe it will be painful when all of a sudden i open my eyes and he is gone.... people always say long distance relationships never work.. but i'll make it work!! if we have the patience to wait for each other, I think it will work out. I'm willing to wait....no matter how long ..my heart will stay. On friday... he finally held my hands again. I was so happy...it made my day. I was surprised that he did that in public and most of my friends saw us and asked us if we were going out. Hmm then i ask myself are we?? Well I'm not sure if were official yet but i can feel him getting closer to me now ^-^ But of course i'm still waiting for his words. Sometimes i juz can't open my mouth.. its so hard.. gosh.. i can't even say a simple "i'll miss u very much" statement...i feel like a coward.. *sigh* maybe i will open up to him one day.. perhaps maybe the day before we go on to our winter break... well i'll try at least but I always chicken out anyways -.- tsk tsk...

Yay! im almost done with his present juz two more feet.....which will take me another 6 hours of work but im glad im almost done and i hope he will like it. Hmm I guess i have send a whole 2 months working on this present so long... -.- my parents were against me making it but still i made it without them knowing hehe...

On saturday i had a CSC competition and yeah....we lost.... juz becuz we kept on pressing the buzzer too early but yea... i accepted in less than 2 minutes which was very odd. I feel that the worst had already happened to me so what else can affect me more. He created a barrier in me like nothing matters anymore and that barrier helps protect me away from the sadness. I don't want to be depressed anymore i want more smiles and laughter.... like how i used to be..