I miss him.... I really do

OK.. I CAN'T SLEEP FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. I have been thinking of him over and over again. I am annoyed that I can't get him off my head. Yes... I do still like him. I missed him. Over the summer I have been always thinking of him. Gosh... when cna I ever get this over with?! I told myself many times that this can't go on before I go crazy. Those past memories have been haunting me all year long. I can't believe our anniversary is almost here. December 22. I can't believe I still remember that date. Its been almost a year and I can't get him off my head. My heart still aches. My head still hurtz. My tears still roll down my cheeks. For the past few nights, I have been crying so much in pain when I look back into those memories. It bothers me so much that I can't sleep. Even now typing at 3:30 am because I can't sleep. I am thnking of it so much more because I saw him other day. I wanted to tell him so many things, I wanted to embrace him, in his arms. But I didn't. I didn't even hug him when I saw him again. But I did see those happy eyes again when I first appeared. I wonder if he missed me too. I am glad he is still the same. I'm glad he is happy in college. I really want to talk to him. I want to ask why he made those decisions back then. I really want to know. I need to solve these problems before those memories come haunt me again. I need to do something in order to move on in life. I don't want to be stuck in this heartache situation. SOMEONE PLZ HELP ME!!!! >_x

Over the semester, he texted me sometimes on aim. He wanted to see me over the webcam. The truth is I really wanted to see him again too, but my webcam wasn't working and I was panicing on how to fix it. In the end, I still couldn't fix it.... I feel so bad.

COLLEGE

omg i dun really like college at all.... cuz classes are so weird. I really dun like the lectures...especially economics. I don't reaLLY learn much from that. Well in english class, I am doing really well. Math, I am doing okay. Economics, I am doing really bad. I really need an A on the final in order to pass. Umm... Biology is alright except for the 3rd exam... I really skrewed up on that.

In college, I met this really kool friend named Jin Xiu (Jenny). She is really kool, and I get along with her so fast. Actually this is the first time I think I got so close to in a short period of time. She is kinda like a mom to me in relationship wise. She taught me alot. Also on the bad side too hahaz. Well I remember going to her party once in October. It was really fun, but it was a drinking party. I didn't drink... it taste so nasty. All I did was play video games all night until 6ish in the morning. ahahz it was fun watching that thai guy get drunk and Jenny going tipsy. I play games until my thumb hurts. Then I had a long talk with her. Talking about that thai guy. He is pretty cute when I saw him, but only for that night I had a tiny crush on him. Since she knew I kinda liked that guy she made up excuses to get that guy to sleep next to us. I end up stuck in the middle. She said to share warmth cuz it was getting pretty cold out. She slept so quickly. But I got reALLY annoyed by the snoring sound of this other person in the room. so... I end up talking to that thai guy cuz we couldn't fall asleep. We talked about our hoobies, sports, relationships, and etc. I actually felt kinda comfortable with him. But I didn't really like the feeling of sleeping next to a guy. Hahaz... when I woke up I can see the position I was sleeping in. Me and him were like so spread apart ahahz. I pushed Jenny to the corner of the wall. I think we made like a yard of space in between me and that guy. It was a funny experience.