My second kiss experience...

HELP ME!!! I really don't know what i am doing.. I just made out with him again for the longest time. This time was more extreme, but at least i tried to control it. I stopped him several times. The way this is progressing is not good at all. I don't want an uncleared relationship like this. It started off wrong and its bugging me like crazy. It got to the rubbing part...and that was not good. It progressed too FAST. >_x I don't even know why I am doing this to a person that isn't even my boyfriend yet. I also know that it is a slim chance he would ask me out anyways. Doesn't seem like he likes me that much. It was mostly physical attractions. That was our bond. But I really don't want that. I want someone to accept who I am and I want someone that would like me and care about me without any of those crazy things. Kissing is fine but all of the rest isn't. All the touching and stuff makes me feel like I'm a slut. That I shouldn't be doing these things. It doesn't seem like were are in the same world. It's more like he is playing around with me. I won't let this hurt me. I have to protect myself from getting hurt. If he doesn't make a move then I guess I will pretend it never happened. I don't want a boyfriend just because he feels obligated to date me just because he made out with me. He is too open and experienced for me. That is what bugs me. I know he is controlling himself but he is also being selfish because he is letting himself loose and doing that things he feel like doing without considering my feelings. He doesn't know how I feel. He may seem like he is understanding but he is impatient and loosing control is what he is good at. He did all those with out my permission thinking that it was okay to let himself so those things. To be honest I really enjoyed it but I know it is not a good thing. I liked his forceful kissed and touches. He gave me the fantasies from the mangas I read. It was a good and crazy experience. The kisses he taught me the touches he showed me are always running in my head. In another way I really wished that he was more caring. More caring about his life. He doesn't really care about his grades and I am helping him by pushing me to do his homework. I really wish I can change him in a positive way. On the other hand, I don't think I am strong enough to do that. He really did get me turned on, but he is too open for me. I don't know if I can ever be the same pace as he is. He seems flustered that he has to slow down for me. But anyways we aren't dating yet. He never truly said he liked me and asked me out so why are we doing these things? I really want to ask him straight out are we dating. On the other hand, it doesn't seem like he wants to. I don't know. But as I said before I am only starting out laid back relationships. I don't want to be serious unless I feel that I really like or love this guy. Obviously he seems to be enjoying himself so I don't know if he is the serious type. I guess I'll just leave it some time and see what happens. I don't want to think about it that much or else I will go crazy.