So it ended... will it come back?

I finally told him.. and we broke up. After all that pain, I finally let go, but that is only in the surface but not inside. Although we broke up, My heart can't stop thinking of him and the only thoughts that can cheer me up is the happy moments we scared from the past. I still like him. I still care for him...but its not enough that we both still feel the same way. It takes much more then that to work out things. He just doesn't seem like he has the motivation to go on with me. I guess it is good to seperate for a period of time. Maybe things will get better and we can talk to each a little more each day. Maybe there is still hope between us. But I'm not sure. I know he is eyeing on me sometimes and I do that, too. I've been trying to act and pretend to be happy infront of people, but I'm kinda tried of pretending. I know I'm sad and hurt inside but I don't want him to see that and I don't want my friends to worry about me. Maybe after awhile things may get better. I want to be close to him and feel comfortable around him like before, but there is always this awkward moment between us. We keep a curtain distance away from each other and barely talk. At least we are starting to talk a little. But yes, he is stubborn and so am I. Maybe one day we will have the courage to make things better and be ready for this. I heard he was sad about it. But when I told him that we can bgo back to being friends he was okay with it. I guess he never really cared and he did expect it anyway. He stood there and didn't do anything. its just like playing chess. If you don't make a move then how is this game going to continue! when the other player is making all the move and trying to keep this game going standing there is not going to do any good! I really tried... I did... but my effort is not enough. It takes two to tangle. Not one but two. I cried so much this senior year. He just doesn't know how much pain and sadness he brought me. He doesn't know how much I liked him and how much I really wanted to be with him. He hurted feelings deeply and influenced my life. I was never like this throughout my life. I never cried so much for one reason and let pain and doubts surpass my heart. But I will not allow it anymore. I want to be happy and cheerful like I use to be. This was so sudden too... It was like one day he was holding me so closely and the next day we were apart. It's so fragile and weak.... I need to develop a strong bond and be happy with this person. Yesterday was supposely our third month together but.....no comment.