Try to live a happy life ^-^

As the days pass by, I start to think my pain is fading away. I am allowing my body to do its job: healing itself. I am slowly recovering from the pain he scared me with. Well, now I am just trying to be a loving friend. I will try to talk to him sometimes and chat with him online. I will try to hangout more with my friends and live that happy life I use to have when I was a junior. Just remembering all the fun times I had with jj, towie, sherry, urooj, maryam, alfredo, joe, and everyone else, that just brings me happiness. I am trying hard to be a happy person and just do whatever I can to make myself happy. After I attended to my friend Charlotte's art award ceremony, I realized that I can be a happy person. To laugh, to joke around, taking silly pictures, I am slowly receiving what I had lost for six months. Now I am trying to laugh more and be my old self again. I feel a lot better now and I AM having fun. School is almost over and I am carrying around my camera to capture all the happy moments I had with my friends, as if I will never own those memories again. I want to play tennis, watch movies, relax myself, hangout with friends, and travel around. I am going to cherish all the time I have left here and cherish the small amount of days I can still see him. I am just trying to be a nice friend and care about him like how I use to , even before I liked him. I'm getting better at tennis now. I was so horrible at first cuz I stopped playing for so long. I want to go to prom , but no one wants to go. I don't want to go alone and its my last year in high school. T_T Well the worst is I'll go by myself, but it's okay I WILL still go for sure. O yea... I'm almost sure I will go to UIC for college but I'm still waiting on Depaul's estimate. Well UIC seems to be a good school do yea its ok I think I will like it there. ^-^ I think the next relationship I will go though is when I am 20 something cuz I don't want to get hurt again. Maybe one day I can fully let go of this scar. It will heal, but i am still waiting for that moment where it will hit me and feelings that would tell me that I am stupid for thinking that he would still care for me. He doesn't anymore. I ended it because he didn't want to cooperate with me but I truely don't regret it. I really enjoyed those memories I had with him. The air and water show, the mall, the walk we had in the rain, the dinner we had together, the necklace he gave me, the dance we had, the chats we had on aim, the calls he gave me, the feelings of happiness he provided, and all the time we had spent together. Although this was a sad experience, I learned a lot from it. I don't regret being with him because I really thought I loved him, but thats why its so hard to recover from it. It's so hard to heal from it because I still have those feelings inside and it's really painful. I will miss him once he leaves but maybe that will be the true start of healing myself from him and letting go of him. I'll be patient!!