happy 8th Month..

In a blink of an eye... We held our hands from the cold lonely fall to a lovely warm spring..and now we are heading to a new start. Summer! I can't believe its summer already and yet I still don't know much about this boy. I feel as if we talk lesser and lesser. As if we have no interest of whats happening in each others lives. He doesn't know what I am doing everyday.. what time I get out of school or who I talk to or hangout with. I don't know what he does everyday..who he meets, who he hangs out with, or even who he chats with. I wonder why I'm feeling that way. Kisses feel more cold, hugs feel like nothing, calls don't even matter anymore. We even feel lazy to get out the door to see each other. But don't we miss each other?? I really don't know anymore. He was mad at me because I didn't order his straightening iron. The truth is I already ordered it. But I just don't want him to know. I want to see how he reacts if I don't get what he wants. Well, I got my answer. Its just a habit to call me everyday because I make him do that. Its not like he misses me or anything. Its more like he is obligated to do so. Every time I pick up, we only say hello, whatzup... what else is there to say? He don't really like talking about his-self or his past. And he doesn't seem interested of what I did or what I saw during the day. He rather watch his games or do something on the internet instead of paying attention to what im saying. He doesn't like to talk about his interest or his passion and what he wants to do. All my friends asked me so many questions of how was my trip what I did there who I met what I saw... they all want to know. And yet my bf only says did you have fun? He didn't bother to ask anymore..He wasn't even interested to know. I have so much to say..and yet my listener dun even wanna know. Why is that? Any plans for the summer? Any plans or ideas of where to hangout or what to do with me? I know I will be busy during the summer. I need to work because I have to pay off my tuition and I have to go to summer school and lab and homework time. But I will make all the time he wants if he wants to see me or hangout with me. Why does it seem like I have to beg him to get out the door to come see me now? Why was he so anxious to see me and spend time with me in the past? What happened? Things just became boring. Every time we see each other its just sex... that's all we do.. What happened to those times where we sleep next to each other talking about our problems or our secrets? What else do we do besides hanging out with jenny and jay cuz they are full of ideas to go somewhere and do something. What happened to all the fun things we used to do, used to say, and used to like? Where did it all go? Is this what happens when your with someone for awhile? Lose interest? We are no longer trying. why is that? Maybe hes more happy without me? Not like he will read my blog anymore or that he will care to read all the words I written down. Probably he skimmed through this or gave up reading it by now because it is long and boring. By now you should feel irritated of why I am acting this way. Or is it just your period? Why do you always make problems? that's what you will probably say.

See what happens? this is exactly how you may feel rite now. Don't you feel some of what i'm feeling? and why I would spend time to write all this down? why I am so unhappy? But not like we will try and spice it up a bit. It's okay. That is why I would not say any more.....